I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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