My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
