we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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