Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
