I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
