Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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