How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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