Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
