my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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