If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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