9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I lost the right to judge tonight
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
