so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Randomize
