it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
