I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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