Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
