At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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