I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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