enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
