News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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