i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
