do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize