Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
