i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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