at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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