just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
why do cheetos always look like penises
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You may now shotgun with the bride
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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