No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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