So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
