Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
