she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
