I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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