I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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