Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
