i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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