we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
