i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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