This girl is more easily done than said...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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