Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
