Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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