I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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