Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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