There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
