I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
