I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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