sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
