He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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