you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
