I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
