if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
