you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
