Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
