The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
