Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
